There is so much important stuff going on in the world.
We have the collapse of the world's stock markets
We have the Bush buyout plan to "save the markets" Which Jay Leno put just about right, "You screw up your investments... You Pay!, They screw up their investments YOU PAY!!!" right on Jay.
We have the annual Collapse of the NY Mets.
Then there is the fact that "retiring from the Long Island Rail Road, can get you investigated..."
I am glad to know that with all the sadness fear, terror that is growing across our nation, our law enforcement agencies still have time to fight the good fight and keep our nation safe from spilling soda, unflattering flatulence and Drunken Horny Cow Tipping Farm Hands...
As Cindy Adams says... You cant make this stuff up...